To Be Or Not To Be

The bard himself.When I originally envisioned this post I figured I’d quote a little Shakespeare and roll from there, a la:

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d.”
(Hamlet in “The tragedie of Hamlet, prince of Denmarke” by none other than the bard himself)

And then I read the summary of what he was effectively comparing (no, I never did read Hamlet in high school.  I’m willing to bet I was probably supposed to, but when you’ve got a permanent hall pass to use the debate room at pretty much any time when it comes to homework “supposed to” and “did” generally never met) and suddenly I’m pretty sure leveraging the first part of the first line above is not actually expressing the sentiment I was after here.

Oh well – that generally doesn’t stop me from talking anyway so here we go.

The real intent of the post was just to pontificate (ponder? muse?) on the fine line between being content and being lazy.  That’s a really tough line to find, especially because it’s not like those green lines that Fidelity uses to guide you to financial security (or wherever they’re guiding you; it could be an abandoned warehouse on the river that smells of stale cheese, cement shoes and shattered dreams for all I know).  It’s one of those damn invisible lines that doesn’t have any clear signs pointing to it or letting you know when you’re about to cross it.

That’s why I’ve adopted the “no regrets” line of thinking.  I don’t care if I decided to get a tattoo of Betty White on my right butt cheek; NO REGRETS.  Awkwardness, maybe, but no regrets.  I have to believe whatever choices I make are the right ones or I’d go absolutely insane rethinking and then I’d never get anything done because I’d end up over-analyzing everything I’m about to do.  Even without regrets I tend to spend more time thinking about things than I should.

In fact I might be doing that currently (because you can take the boy out of the analyst role but you can’t take the analyst out of the boy…and besides, I’m back in an analyst role so there you go) but that’s really beside the point.

The point is there’s some point at which you’re content because you’re in the right place.  The problem is it tends to look an awful lot like the place where you’re just lazy and rationalizing doing something/not doing something to keep the status quo.  I am so not good at reading that line that I generally just keep going under the auspices of “if you’re not moving forward you’re moving backwards”.  And since I hate moving backwards (especially on my motorcycle; no reverse gear so it’s all Fred Flintstone-ish) I just keep moving forward…or at least trying to.

The challenge with that is I don’t slow down and I certainly don’t stop.  I have a friend of mine who’s headed out of the country next year for a week with an express intent on sitting on a foreign beach and soaking in the sun and water (I’m sure there will be various sightseeing, etc., around that, but I’m just as certain with this friend there will be days completely devoted to kicking back on the sand and a blanket).  I envy that; I’d love to be able to plan on a week – hell, a day – where I do absolutely nothing productive (or trying to be productive).  But I can’t bring myself to do that, at least not at this point in my life.

The closest I get is when I hang out down at the Lake with my buddies or with a friend of mine where I can feel comfortable just sitting and saying absolutely nothing – no conversation, no phones, etc; just kind of sitting and enjoying the silence if you will.  I can’t do that 99.9% of the time, though – I just keep going because I have absolutely no desire to fall into the “lazy” category and the best way to avoid that is to leave that stupid invisible  line in my dust.

Healthy?  Pretty sure it’s not, but as I just told my sis around my convenient accidental forgetting to visit doctors:  it’s been a successful strategy so far because, well, I’m still here.

Oh well – enough of this pondering.  It’s enough to bring you down and I’m a fan of being happy so I’m going to cut things short and look forward to the Ellapalooza tournament this weekend at Volleyball Beach (which, if you’re not planning on coming to, you need to rethink – it’s one of the best tournaments out there and it’s sure to be an absolute blast)!

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What do you think?