Twas the Week Before Christmas…

Every Christmas season I get the pleasure of doing a recap of the Kansas City (ish) sports teams.  This is one of my favorite things to do – I get to join my creative (?  I call it “creative”) side with my passion for sports and figure out how in the hell to rhyme words with “Santana” and “purple”.  This always goes on my out of office reply at work (even if I’m not actually out of the office…like this year) and I usually put it on my work voicemail as well.

Here it is, for my Paul Gillespie Experience readers: the 2013 edition of “Twas the Week Before Christmas“.

 

‘Twas the week before Christmas
And all ‘cross the land
People were sitting at home
Wrapping paper in hand

By a warm, cozy fire
And with a favorite drink
Watching A Charlie Brown Christmas
And stopping to think

Why in the world Christmas Day
Fell on a Wednesday this year
But ultimately not really caring
Or shedding a tear

Because the Chiefs, yes the team
That won two games in 2013
Was now sitting tied atop the division
And no, this wasn’t a dream

They were really 12 and 3
Heading into the final week
Against the rival San Diego Chargers
Who, unfortunately, managed to eke

Out a win out over the Chiefs
When they met the first time here
But all that will be different
Chiefs fans – have no fear

Because Philip cry-me-a-Rivers
Is destined to find
That the worst team to play
Is the one with revenge on their mind

But regardless of outcome
Regardless of win
It’s the first time we’ve made the playoffs
Since two thousand and ten

And on our back we have a monkey
Who’s been there since twenty years before
Because we haven’t won a post-season game
Since, well, 1994

This year will be different
It’s destined to be
Because we have an offense
AND a pretty good D

We’re tied for third place
In total points scored
And our defense is solid
Ranking #2, 3 or 4

In most of the key categories
That define all the good teams
Now the big question, friends,
Is just how Andy Reid

Will use all of those weapons
To bring KC a win
Because heaven knows that the Jayhawks
Are really really thin

In the whole “victory” column
At least when it comes to the gridiron
Although we did beat West Virginia
Which probably saved Charlie Weiss from a firin’

The football season for KU
Was not one for the books
But basketball – that’s different
That gives us something to look

Forward to as 2014
Becomes the year that we’re in
Because save for a few games this year
All KU does is, well, win

Much like, I hate to say it,
That team called “Mizzou
Who abandoned the Big 12
In two thousand – one – two

And while they can’t really play basketball
In the NCAA league
Give them credit where due –
They rocked football in the SEC

Taking home first place
In the SEC West
And even being a KU fan
I will say – I was really impressed

Nobody – me included
Had them winning much more
Than a game or two in conference
Maybe three, MAYBE four

Instead they shocked
Everyone and made themsevles a run
At the BCS championship game
Where they sought to stun

One of the big dogs of college football
Like Ohio State or the ‘Noles
But despite their good run
That’s not how it was to unfold

But kudos nonetheless
To my MU friends
You certainly exceeded
And did dang well in the end

Even though I respect you
When you shout out “M – I – Z” to the sky
I’m still going to respond
With a hearty: “E – R – Y”

But misery is not
Where the Royals were this season
A solid year for the boys
And pitching was the reason

With an ERA that was smaller
Than the Raiders IQ
The wins kept piling up
For the KC Boys in Blue

The bats – not so much
They didn’t really strike again
But “good enough” was enough
To score 86 wins

Which was fourteen more than last year
And 21 better than ’09
And it just went to show
That it’s almost the Royals time

We didn’t make the post-season –
We got edged out at the end –
But you can sense a home playoff game
Sitting right around the bend

And considering it’s been
Since about 1995
Since we’ve seen October baseball
This town was alive

I’ve never seen the K
So full of people this late
And given expectations
Nobody could hate

On Butler, on Santana
On Shields and Derrick Lowe!
On Tamba Hali!
On Charles and Fasano!

Sorry for the brief Chiefs interruption
Not really; no I’m not
Because when you’re this late in the year
You hold on to what you’ve got

So before I close out
Because, well, it’s late
I’d be remiss if I didn’t
Give a shout out to K-State

You know them – they’re the Wildcats
That other Kansas team
They hail from Manhattan
And make quite the scene

When they don all their purple
With accents of silver
And they’re looking to play
And maybe just pilfer

The Buffalo Wild Wings trophy
From the hands of the Wolverines
Who will try as they might
And probably aren’t all that keen

To lose another bowl game
Especially to Bill Snyder
Who hasn’t won one himself
Since Muhammed Ali was a fighter

But enough of the Wildcats
If you’ll allow me this pardon
Because I’m still pretty upset
That they fired Frank Martin

So with that, my dear friends
I’ll close out this report
Of the year in review
Of Kansas City(-ish) sports

But putting sports aside
This here time of year
Is the chance to remember
All those you hold dear

And all those you don’t –
Whether sports fans or not
Because ’tis the season of peace
No matter the lot

So whether you’re a Jayhawk
A Cyclone, a ‘Cat
You wear all red and gold
Blue and white; gold and black

Or have some other affiliation
Either college or pro
This holiday season
As you prepare to go

Listen for me to exclaim as
I head home this week
Merry Christmas to all!
And hell yeah – GO CHIEFS!

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