‘Twas The Week…

Christmastime...Every year around this time I record “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas – KC Sports Edition” on my voicemail at the office.  I also put the text of it on my Out of Office reply, even if I’m not actually out of the office.  It’s one of my favorite things to do around the holidays and it never ceases to be a HUGE hit.  This year I decided I’m going to put it up on The Paul Gillespie Experience, as well.

So if you’re a sports fan, enjoy.  And if you’re not a sports fan…enjoy anyway.



‘Twas the weeks around Christmas
And all through the floor
The computers were silent
Pending big things in store

The denizens of floor four
Were all comfy at home
Spending time with their families
Or reading a tome

But the sports scene in KC
Was nary that quiet
There were changes a-happenin’
To prevent a gigantic fan riot

We’ll start with the Royals
Who did better than the Twins
But still ended up sub-.500
With 90 losses, 72 wins

But that record was good enough
To put them third in the division
And it also forced David Glass
To make a really tough decision

“Do I keep printing money
From the loyal Royals fans,
Or do I seek a winning team
And bring excitement to the stands?”

There’s only one right decision
At least from us fans point of view
But it’s one that’s not been picked
Since about 2002

Or maybe it was ’03
Who knows – not the point
The key takeaway here
Is whether we’ll stink up the joint

This upcoming season ahead
Or if we’ll field a great team
And if the early off-season trades
Are a peek at the scene

Of next year’s penant race
Then my attitude’s switching –
It looks like we might actually acquire
Some good starting pitching!

That’s right fellow fans
Of the KC Boys In Blue
We didn’t acquire just one starter for next year –
We went out and traded for two!

I’m almost beside myself
I’m as happy as an escalator-bound Slinkie
Because we haven’t had this kind of starting pitching
Since we traded away Zack Grienke

So with Butler hitting cleanup
And Gordon just before
We’ll see if Frenchy’s bat comes alive
Like it did the season before

And if it does and we can stave off
That injury dread
Then who knows – maybe we’ll actually end up
With a record of .500!

But we’re not done there – oh no
.500 just’s a way to get in it
I’m really expecting we’ll make a legitimate
Run at a pennant

Which we haven’t seen here
Since 1985
But can you imagine the joy?
Can you imagine this town come alive?

When the Royals make a run
Into the playoffs in 2013
But when that happens, dear friends,
We’ll look forward and dream

That the Chiefs, oh the Chiefs
Who couldn’t pull but two victories
Would get their swagger back
And write the next chapter of the story

Of the team who went from 2 and 14
To 14 and 2 – that’s a fact
All because they (finally) decided
To draft a quarterback

Instead of a defensive player
From some SEC team
Which would only improve us slightly –
Maybe 3 and 13

And a receiver, a wide out
Yeah we need one of those, too
And a corner. A safety.
And more than a few

Other positions, as well
But none more than QB
Because I like Brady Quinn…
If he’s play caller #3

Could Cassel stay first string?
Not if we really want to win
He was a good behind Brady;
Now he can be good behind Quinn

Who would be quarterback #3
For the Chiefs red and gold
While the rookie we draft
Can carry the load

Of a team that’s destined to win
When a few pieces fall in place
Or we could simply give up the season
And fall on our face

Like Kansas University did
In football this year
After hiring Charlie Weiss
To come in and instill fear

Of a new Big 12 presence
Called the mighty Jayhawks
But ’twasn’t to be
With a cough and a squawk

We embarassed ourselves
On the gridiron of fate
I mean – heavens to Betsy
We lost to Iowa State!!!

But KU’s not a school
That embraces football at all
College hoops, on the other hand,
Now THAT’S where we draw

The best and the brightest
To watch the Jayhawks do good
Against the best in the country
On the Allen Fieldhouse hardwood

On Ellis, on Traylor
On Releford, on Withey
On McLemore, Perry Ellis,
Evan Manning, Justin Wesley

This year’s Jayhawks team
Has some big shoes to fill
Because last year was a “rebuilding year”
And despite that, and still

That team finished second
In the Big Dance back this Spring
So this year the Jayhawks
Will have to show that the thing

That happened last year
Wasn’t just a big fluke
But instead was the Jayhawks
Coming out of the chute

And dominating again
Like years and years past they’ve done
And not dropping the tourney
In round number one

Like the Missouri Tigers
Basketball team did this past year
As all my MU-faithful friends
Will recall with a tear

In a season that was awesome
And exciting to see
A first-round loss was their last hurrah
Before going SEC

And unfortunately that conference
Didn’t treat them well at all
In their cornerstone sport
That would be “football”

They tried – oh they tried
But it wasn’t the same
They couldn’t win quite enough
To make it to a bowl game

But next year looks better
A smoother road they can ride
Since they won’t have to play
The Alabama Crimson Tide

Who are destined to lose
In the championship game, how I wish,
Because I’d much rather crown
The Notre Dame Fighting Irish

With the title of college football’s
New number one team
But regardless of winner
It should be a game to be seen

And it would have been better
Had Baylor not been a hater
Because it would have then been the Irish
Against Colin Klein – the K-Stater

And a battle of two
Heisman hopefuls this fall
Who unfortunately both lost
To Johnny Football

But the great run through the Big 12
By the K-State Wildcats
Was a remarkable trek
And I hope you remember that

This is a team that a few years ago
Looked more like the grinch
When Bill Snyder retired
And they brought in Ron Prince

But Snyder returned
And with him the wind
To make 2013 another great year
For the Big 12 title to defend

But that’s next year, my friends,
After the holidays are through
When the lights are all down
And the temperatures are, too

Remember sports – while fun to watch –
Is nothing more than just that
And there’s more to this holiday season
Wherever you’re at

Watching bowl games at Dad’s house
Baking cookies with chocolate chips
Playing board games with your friends
Wrapping presents with kids

Whatever your holidays are
And whomever they’re with
Just remember the biggest joy
Isn’t to receive, but to give

And hug all your close family
And random strangers – why not?
After all it’s only
One life that we’ve got

In this holiday tradition
As we part for the year
Let me say “Merry Christmas to all
And a very happy new year!

(post image courtesy of TripAdvisor)

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